Hey all, thanks for all the support. Am doing a little better, thinking of maybe going to a meeting, if I can find one that fits into when I don't work. The time I think I most need support is when I get home from work, at about 12:30 AM, past mid-night. I doubt any groups meet that late, but maybe, or even just a person or two.
I tried SMART at one time, went to a local meeting when I had a day job. It was just me and the moderator, and I really liked it. Then he moved away, and for many years, no meetings. Now, they have some in Baltimore again, but on the nights I work. I tried SMART online, but it turned ugly, and I was more or less kicked off, along with many other people. Somehow, the online version always seemed to devole into fighting and bickering, it was not very helpful, totally unlike the face to face meetings. So I have rather soured on SMART; they can just as stiff and doctrinaire as AA, tossing out slogans and catchphrases at the same pace.
Something in me tends to resist structure, authority. I like to ask questions, and when I get the answers, more questions. Has always been like this, since I began to talk.
I will have to see if any other non AA groups meet around here, then consider AA as a last resort. I think they have an agnostic meeting in Baltimore, maybe that would be not too bad.
I'd also like to see a therapist again, when I can afford to. I think maybe in a few months, when I get bills caught up, and if I can get a second job, I will see one. I’m hoping to find one familiar with Carl Jung. I would like to talk about dreams.
Well, thanks for putting up with such a pessimistic person, it was very sweet,
HP