Seems like whenever I write on this site, he shows up and things go better for a few days, or rather a few hours. He is still not on drugs, at least not as of noon today. He just has to do his own thing in his won timel. We finally got the plates and ins. for truck yesterday-did not put it back in my name and from there it is downhill. After being stuck in the house for almost 3 yrs. I felt like time to go out, just down the highway would have been nice but nope-he wanted to go to his borthers and off he went. Truck ended up back at the house and no AH. Went to his brothers to tell him the man down the road needed help moving a mini barn and he was not there. They knew where he was I could tell and just would not say a word. Sure he is with someone who he should not be with. Again, he tries to talk to me but----------I just think he is saying what he thinks I want to hear. I am simply too old for this. My blood pressure went through the roof again and really thought about going to ER but did the good ole breathing lessons and down it went. Well, 2 hrs. and he is in violation of his parole. All the weekend plans shot to heck. And here I am stuck again with his dogs that we puppies when he left for prison and more puppies. I just see the past repeating itself without drugs. Now what the heck am I supposed to do. In eight years we have never spent one holiday together-always me alone. Duh, should tell me something-huh? Lock the door? Call the parole officer? Be as immature as I think he is or just keep the tears flowing. What a waste of 8 years and a couple hundred thousand. Yep, whining, screaming and going to find something to throw. Maybe he has found a new home-who knows. No lets not say chocolate, bubble bath, book or anything. I am simply too furious with myself. Grrrrrrr.