Hi OB,
Sorry to hear you are depressed. I can relate. I am at about 4 months of sobriety and have been having NA beers recently bc of situational ... 'feelings' I guess, is the word. Im not thinking I will 'relapse', however, Im not sure either. Maybe the 4 month spot is just rough.
This probably isnt what you want to hear but your post sounds like depression talking. I have been taking 5 HTP for the past 2 months. It is natural and it helps.
Glad you are posting here. I cannot log in to SR from my home computer and I really wish I could.
I think being in a job you hate is what is making things the hardest IMHO.