I just wanted to vent this morning... I called my BF's mother to tell her an update on her son's progress in rehab and that he spoke about requesting money from her and to not send it until he has earned it. Well, when she answered the phone and I asked how she was doing she remained silent. I knew this conversation wasn't going to be pretty. I then went on to say that I visited her son and that he's doing well and that... she cut me off. She says, "You know you are a nice girl and everything but I don't want to hear about him anymore." WOW!! That was a blow. I wasn't calling to chat about his relapse and his days stealing from me, his days manipulating her, etc. but to discuss what we talked about when he went into rehab. For EVERYONE to be on the same page and not enable him anymore. We agreed to stay in contact with each other to let each other know if he's still there, not there, etc. to help ourselves move on if we need to. So, I asked her does this mean that you don't want to hear if he's still there or not? She says no. Alrighty then. I understand she is mad and I understand that addiction can tear up relationships but this has really shot me down. She made comments like, "I don't see why you still care." "I don't see why you hung in there this long." I felt like a piece of crap because she feels her son is a piece of crap. It later came out that she admitted she got a letter from him and the letter "was all about him and asking if I can send him $15." I completely agreed with her not to send the money until he has earned some level of trust, etc. but that his selfishness will remain until he has been in rehab for awhile and to look past that and kindly say no to him. She replied, "I'd rather just let him go."
I understand detachment and not enabling your AD/AS, however, would you not want to hear from them? Would you not want to hear that they are still hanging in there and getting help? I'm just struggling with this right now. She really has me doubting if I should even support him. I mean writing a letter to your son to even say, I got your letter, sorry not sending the money but hope all is well and keep it up is enough for an addict to appreciate well into their recovery.
I don't know... maybe it's just me... any thoughts out there?