mentallyexh--I have filed for a divorce--and it is my 2nd divorce. The thing is I married an alcoholic the first time and then I married an alcoholic the 2nd time. While married the 2nd time I started to get healthy AND I did not want my kids to have to live with someone who was erratic and unpredictable. By the time I filed I was very ready for the marriage to be over and AH was not even close to being ready to getting his sh** together.
The amazing thing--it has been about 3 weeks since I filed and there has been this outpouring of relief from so many people. People at work are happy the kids and I are safe. The neighbors said they are keeping me in their thoughts and prayers. People have told me I am a great mom and they are happy I decided to live my life with my children and not let AH wreck our lives. I am the jilted one, not AH. The love of his life is alcohol and drugs and I am not remotely interested in competing anymore. He can have it. People have been coming out of the woodwork telling me things I never knew about STBXAH and his alcohol/drug use. I was floored. I thought it was pretty bad and I found out it was much worse than I thought.
Even if this was your 9th divorce think about why you want to divorce--not the number. Sometimes when we are our co-dependent selves we need to get better in order to get away. Work on yourself and you may find you like you without the alcoholic. Go back to being that happy person that you know and love.