This may sounds a little lame, but I think I had an epiphany over the weekend.
Back story - my addicted brother moved out of our home last week. My husband and I were giving him a place to stay while he was doing an outpatient program. He worked for my husband full-time. Ultimately, he decided to go back to drugs so we asked him to leave. Since then, it has been ugly. He was sending emails to ask to borrow money (he made plenty of money when he was here, but when he left, he was broke and had several bad checks floating around) because he had a great job opportunity in another state but no money to get there. Then he started bashing my husband and our church and saying him using drugs "once in a while" is no worse than the way we judge people (which really hurt me because I NEVER judged him). I blocked his email address so I won't be hearing from him that way again.
Anyway, the other day I was really feeling sorry for myself. I have one brother who died of a drug overdose in 2008 and now another brother who relapsed, plus an alcoholic father who is in denial about everything and a mom who won't stop enabling. Basically I was feeling like my life stunk.
Then it hit me... my life does not stink! I have beautiful kids and a good marriage. I have a wonderful church family and friends who love me. My life doesn't stink... even if my brother's life does (and his life does stink, he just doesn't care).
So I think I'm making progress.... my brother's addiction doesn't have anything to do with me. All I can do is pray.
Thanks for listening
.
Kristy