Yeah...most of the above.
Sometimes mind numbing boredom.
Sometimes just wanted to get 'out of it' for an evening (sick of the rapier like clarity of the sober life).
Sometimes I get a perverse train of thought that glamourises drunkeness. It's edgy. It's life in the fast lane. It's the fate of every struggling artist.
Sometimes it's just because I have had a really great and productive day and I want to come home and reward myself.
The biggest killer for me is this one: ' You never had a problem really mate..you were just a heavy occassional drinker, you're not an alcoholic. You have put yourself through all this for nothing. Denying great times in the mistaken believe you have problem'.
That one will get ya every frikken time!