Enough is Enough!
Well it's been a while, things were better for a while, but have gone down hill again....not surprised. But, yesterday was the breaking point....so he left I. And the oddest part is, I don't really feel sad...I feel relieved. No more dreading coming home just to get yelled at and argue, no more watching him set an example for the kids that is not what I expect from them, no more tense feeling...just calm. To say I am not sad would not be true. As I sit here, part of me wants to call him and say come home, but after last night the bigger part of me is asking why I feel that way. Our relationship has sprialed down to nearly nothing but having a child together....I want the best for her. If there is saddness it is for her. I don't know what the future holds, but I know I now understand that no matter what I did/do, it doesn't affect what he does...the threats if he didn't stop, the limits on drinking - he is going to do what he wants. And I do know that as long as he is drinking we are done.....I care about him, he is good to our daughter and my boys, I love him, but not at the expense of the abuse or the mental wellness of my children...so enough is enough, step back think....and take it day by day.