Sometimes I have a problem with "sick" being used as regards emotional/psycholocal/spiritual conditions and sometimes I don't. Usually, when I do it is because the implication is somehow being made (or because I am getting the implication whether it's being made or not -- which is usually when I'm touchy and looking to think that everyone is somehow out to get me) that "sick" somehow negates human freedom and responsibility -- which to me are very very important and a large part of what makes human being deserving of being treated with dignity and respect. Basically, it seems to me like the problems usually start to arise when "sick" is being used in such a way that all of the things related to physical illenss suddenly start to become metaphors for emotional/spiritual/psychological illness, and, as with any metaphor, it can start to get questionable when it starts to go that far -- especially for people who are super analytical about how language is used (which I can be due to my educational background) or for anyone whose personal experience causes certain words to have negative conotations for him/her.
Typically, in my experience, the vast majority of al anon people are really really good at walking that line between knowing that there are lots of ways in which both our and our As' behavior are sick and still recognizing personal responsibility and the freedom we all have in our lives and choices.
I think maybe it's a good idea not to get too hung-up on the language if that's possible. If it doesn't work for you, use something else that "sounds' true to your experience. It can be really, really hard to hear anything that you think sounds like "and excuse" or a "justification" of behavior that has been very very hurtful to you or to people you love. But if you read a lot of the posts here, I think you will also hear that almost no one is trying to excuse or justify anything....like every other human tool, language is limited and we all try to do the best we can to express very difficult things in ways that, hopefully, other people will be able to understand and relate to.
freya
["Insane" is the one that gets me most -- but, know what? One of my most favorite activities for the longest time was trying to "reason" my A into being rational in areas of her life in which she is totally irrational and insane -- now if THAT (trying to have a rational discussion with a person you know is in a totally irrational place and continuing to do so for years despite the fact that it never, ever works) isn't insane, then what is? It finally occurred to me that perhaps the reason I hated to think of that term being applied to my own behavior was because it fit so perfectly!!!!!!]