At the top of her lungs she is singing........."HE'S STILL WORKING ON ME........TO MAKE ME WHAT I OUGHT TO BE.......TOOK HIM JUST ONE WEEK TO MACK THE MOON AND THE STARS, SUN AND THE EARTH AND JUPITOR AND MARS.........HOW LOVEING AND PATIENT HE MUST BE CAUSE HE'S STILL WORKING ON ME!!!!!!!!" that is just me tonight................3 in the moring his mouth is running my mind is playing with me again, I think........we arenteven sleeping the same cycles again unless he is totally exhausted aaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH they have me so damn dopped up from the hospital.......it is playing with my meds right this second and I am pissy..........I wish these damn thoughts are not around............this last week has been a bit of a challange................I ended up in the hospital last night, upper left side of colostomy bag was SERIOUSLY enlarged, beet red, hard and painful to the touch.........hello er...................surgon was waiting was sortta cool....right!!!! 5 kids all under 13 come into er I WAS PUSHED BACK ( trust me I didnt mind....considering the conditions were a hell of a lot more urgent than myself) the most serious one a 13 year old girl with a gun shot to her head...... she was walking across the street and a STRAY BULLET hit her........THANKS PEOPLE!!!!!!! God I hate Flint.......So were sitting there and Edward hasnt had sleep in 2 days....he had litterally just crawled into bed and I said ok Hospial!!!!( that means I am serious something is wrong!!!!) not bad here it is 5 pm on a friday afternoon ..............THERE GOES MY DAMN FOOT BALL GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SORRY
Side tracked......... Here We are sitting when we watch this damn hospital almost colse down ( again no problem with that) when this ( SORRY NO OTHER WORD FOR HER) Woman comes in and sits down and Immedately touch my old mans arm asking how long we had been there........( ok all who gets an instant attitude at said woman?!??! Yeppers it was me....nice eh.....he didnt notice) he almost ignores her mumbles something and soon back to sleep.......I just smile, hes cute when he sleeps.........lol
She startes bitching saying she had just been released from the hospital.......his eyes are now open and missing out on sleep......she had just had gallstones taken out wasnt suppose to be released the next day and she is having a hard time breathing.......wahooo........I have Xananx and pain pills and an attitude problem.....and no signal for my phone and no way to express myself and I took a good look at myself listening to this woman bitch.........she went on to say that she had just taken a two month old baby home and all I could think was you lucky bitch......I sware I just wanted to scream out what was going on with me............here there was a little girl fighting for her life and she couldnt even understand...........all I wanted to scream at her is that she was stupid.....IF YOU ARE THERE FOR BREATHING PROBLEMS AND WANT TO BE SEEN THENSHUTTHEFUCKUPANDACTLIKEYOUCANTFUCKINGBREATHETL EAST!!!!!!!!!!!!.......ALLOFTHE SUDDEN she is breathing he now embarassed husband went and called her mother who then dragged her out of the hospital yelling that she needed to be at home with the new baby......I wanted to tell her she should of raised her better or at least clapped cause she was gone......couldnt of been 5 minutes after that I got called back......I am so glad I kept my mouth shut.....I was rewarded.......nothing wrong in fact my creatin level ( kidneys) are almost normal..........thank God.....this having no insurance with an open belly wound just sucks!!!!!!!
I HATE FEELING LIKE I JUST RAN INTO A WALL AND CANT EVEN COME UP WITH THE ENERGY TO PUSH UP I MEAN I ALMOST STANDING AND THEN I LOST IT ALL AGAIN..............my mind wont stop spinning.........i would love a drink.........cant even do that..........not because the health thing or sobrity only cause we cant afford it......when does it end???
too much going on right now..............LORD QUIT WORKING ON ME SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please..........I am really close to breaking........
Sorry all it is just really hard around here right now!!!!
Pamm