Well, seem to be improving a bit, drink one night, don't drink the next, and so on, so it’s better than the last week. I keep wishing there was a meeting I could go to in real life, but without that Big Book, and all the God stuff in it. I try reading it and ignoring the rest, but there’s just too much to ignore, too much of the structure seems, to me, based on a pretty traditional Christian God, and all the stuff about inventories and guilt seems pretty strange; I never saw any places you got to inventory all the good stuff you did, all the good things about you. It seems to dwell so much on the bad.
So I'm pretty scared of an AA meeting, but there is not much else. I may try an agnostic one, but am still even scared of that.
Not sure what to do. Feel I need some help, but AA has such a monopoly on things around here......
HP