You know, chill, I went for just a couple of months and grabbed myself a sponsor. It's pretty cool, because I meet with her when it works for our schedules, and it's like talking to someone from here "with skin"! I can vent, and ask questions, and cry, and hear her story and know she's been "there" a lot longer than me and can share her wisdom. We do talk the steps, but I've told her that I'm in the slow and steady mode and don't want to feel pushed. She totally respects my boundaries. Keep trying and find where you fit! It'll be worth it. Take care!!!! Don't despair!