I am sticking to my guns and I am so proud of myself! I have not faltered! I told him I want him out, out, out ASAP. I told him I am not willing to live in the chaos any longer and that me and my little pumpkin deserve more than what he can give us right now. He is working long hours this week so he has asked his Mom to drop off a check (his check, his money) at some apartment (he has already filled out and paid for the application fee) he is going to be renting. I know she probably shouldn't be helping him but I just want him out so bad, I don't care who helps him!
Of course, after he cussed me out last night, he is "sorry" today and he "doesn't want to lose us," but I know it is just quacking. He even offered to take a drug test weekly! HA! Like that would help... he also is mad because he said I seem excited and happy that he is leaving-I kind of am.. I have been dealing with this for so long, to know that relief is only a few short days away makes a weight lift off of my shoulders.
I know my boundaries sound like I am trying to control him and I should have phrased them differently. I do know I can't control it, if we could, none of us would be here, because Lord knows, we have all tried to "fix" our addicts. I just want PEACE for MYSELF and MY SON and I am not willing to live with an active addict, especially not with my child there. I have a lot of work to do on my own recovery and I know I can't do it with him in my home. I am not sure if I want my marriage to end at this point, but I do know that my son and I deserve more.
I still have hope that his disease will become manageable once again for him, if not for our marriage, for our son. He deserves a healthy relationship with his Father, I just hope and pray that my AH gets the help he needs to that he can make that happen.
Thank you all for your support!
Much Love,
Daisy