Thanks for all the nice responses. I know that flaming is against the rules but it is still nice to open myself up on the internet and not be flamed. Here are a few of my thoughts after reading the posts.
1. The fact that people who have gone through this think that I am actually quite bad has made me feel all the more ashamed and slighlty depressed. But it has given me even more resolve to suceed. I appreciate the honesty. I also realise that I've been a binge drinker all my life even when I was young and it seemed fun. Just recently I have been getting worse and I hope and pray that I've nipped it in the bud before things got really out of control. I realise with clarity all of a sudden that me and drink don't work and that I can never drink again. I am almost happy with this realization and don't know why it took me so long.
2. I didn't drink Sunday or Monday but don't feel I have started on the road to sobriety as I never did drink on these days and seldon on Tuesdays. I feel anxious to really get some days/weeks under my belt.
3. In the past when I quit for a week or so it was to clean myself up until the next Saturday. I never had the long term goal of sobriety. I now do.
4. Wolfchild wrote about withdrawel symptoms and this had really concerned me. I am a binge drinker and before when I stopped for days or even weeks I simply quit. As far as I know I had no symptoms. After reading this I do feel tension in my left arm and can sense my blood pressure rising, but that might be because I'm now scared of getting symptoms upon quitting. What kind of symptoms should I be on the look out for and when are they likely to occur?
5. Normally after a Saturday night binge I feel really anxious, depressed, self-loathing and whatever the next day. On Monday however I usually feel better. I joined this site on Monday and it's now Tuesday and I still feel pretty bad but I'm hoping the anxiousness is more excitement about the next, better stage of my life. I also went to the gym this morning and did my normal run. For some reason the stories I read yesterday on this site, both positive and negative were buzzing through my head. I had my best run in months.
6. Tosh, I think I'm going to try this with the help of this site rather than an online AA group at present. I don't want to make any committments to people that I can't meet. If I fail then I will take you up on this offer. I hope to use this site for encouragement, especially when I am or might be tempted.
Thanks again.