Originally Posted by
queenie88 
wow...this really spoke to me! there are so many people who post here that have such wise, incredible things to say. i find myself copying/pasting a lot of posts into a word document i've entitled "enlightening." it's a really great reference. i'm currently in the process of getting over a relationship - my XABF kicked me out of his house after i expressed my opinions on his drinking/drugging lifestyle, strung me along and then dumped me two days before he would be incommunicado in another country for work.
NO REGRET. i just can't believe how insensitive, unempathetic and self-centered he can be. our relationship was great when it was all fun and games...traveling, i was his "wings," he promised never to leave me, i was the most important person in his life.
fast-forward to when i moved in and the second night i was there he got drunk and passed out at his friend's house, despite my asking him not to get so drunk that we'd have to spend the night there, despite him saying "this sh*t isn't going to happen when you're up here." the co-dependent crazies got the best of me and i broke down crying, telling him i needed him to be there for me because i was going through a lot. his response? "i can't take all this emotional bullsh*t!" should have known then. but i ignored all the red flags, the warning signs. and here i am, kicked out and dumped by the alcoholic/weed addict.
BS08...you are not alone!
Thanks queenie. For some reason, your post really helps me. I'm just hitting a real low tonight but it's nice to know I'm not the only one. I've reread the last email my exABF sent me where he seemed to honestly somewhat admit the problem:
" Obviously the weed and drink is a problem and always will be.
First time I've been called a sex addict, but probly pretty close to
the truth. I need to get the alcohol back in check, so i can continue
to be a professional ski patroller! It's always been easier to quit
drinking than quit the weed.
I'm going to get some free mental health counseling through *****
*****, and I'm looking forward to trying that. One of the topics for
my end of season review is the emotional rollercoaster I ride. I
thought I was doing better, but it seems to be an issue at work, and
something I need to work on, but will talk to counselers about it."
It reminds me that I'm the one that had to deal with the real problems he has, not his friends. They not intimate with him and trying to build a life with him based on trust and respect, so it's different for them.
I have to really remind myself really hard it's not me, it's not me, it's not me.....and the problems really are there....