Hey, digde.
I'm curious...what was it specifically about those three drinking wine and you being the one drinking coffee that was unsettling? (I'm going somewhere with this, bear with me...)
Did you feel left out?
Did you miss the buzz?
Did you miss the taste?
What does alcohol represent for you?
For me, it was a way to bond with others, feel good and have fun.
Being sober doesn't mean that I've given up bonding with others, feeling good or having fun. I know this is going to sound like one of those cheesy public service announcements, but I honestly don't need alcohol for any of those things.
Maybe I'm lucky...I can get people to laugh and feel at ease. I'm a goof ball...anything I can do to have fun and laugh. I've become so much better communicating effectively with people now that I have a clear head.
Of course I miss drinking. Sometimes I wish I could...but I can't.
I stayed in my home and drank. That was all I did. I wasn’t living. I was slowly killing myself.
Drinking doesn't define who I am anymore. It is not my life. It doesn't have to define you. You call the shots.
Maybe the next time that happens instead of focusing on being the one who is isn’t drinking, focus your attention on the conversation at hand. Get really engaged in what everyone is talking about. If the conversation is steered towards drinking, veer it off onto some other topic. Jump in with a funny story. Anything. Relax and enjoy your sober self. Sobriety doesn’t have to be lived as though it’s torture. Think of all the wonderful things you can do now sober that you couldn’t before.
14 months is fantastic. I hope to get there soon.
