Well after 45 years of pursuing that phantasy I made peace with that desire. I no longer wish to be a normal drinker as I no longer wish to drink. It'd be like wanting to date the girl that took me for a ride and dumped my sorry ass. As for standing out by being a non-drinker in a drinking crowd, I think its very cool. As far as being an alcoholic, why should I be ashamed? Cancer survivors wear wrist bands proclaming their victory and cause. I should get a little alkie wrist band and flant it. I'm sober and proud, I say it out loud!