When you are done being mentally exhausted, you will be done.
When I was done hurting and being hurt, in the great scheme of things, I was done.
I may sound like LTD- but, are you done yet? is this enough? or are you in for another ride on the rollercoasteR?
I am sorry your husband is deep in active alcoholism. This is what alcoholics do. Hurt and then hurt more. Hurt, and when you think no more hurt its possible, tada! yet another scene, another critical word, another backstabbing, another letting a madman with a razor in your heart. This is expected. They drink-- and drink more. Your say does not matter or will change anything (to him). Why are you surprised? What are you going to do now?
Sorry if I sound harsh. I hope you remember you are in charge of your life and you do not need to put up with these scenes any single second more.