Hey Faerie.
I've been following this thread ever since you posted it but didn't add to it as I was going thru my own stuff. Sorry. I think now that I should've posted. Because I do care about people who get thrown about in life, who get used and abused, who get.. their wings torn.So I'm sorry I didn't respond.
I can relate a little about this, even tho I'm a bloke/guy. Me and my partner didn't make love for the longest time ever until recently, because of multiple reasons: she has a back problem; she has mental health problems (due to abuse as a child); she has leg problems. The point is it doesn't matter what she has, if I love and respect her, I am -and always will be- prepared to wait until she herself is okay to make love. It's not a condition or rule, it's this thing called Love (and Respect).
So.. what your partner did was wrong, so wrong. Sorry it took so long to say all this.
I wish you all the best in your endeavors to be strong, to be with your Wings all mended again.
I'll be with you in this every step, as long as it takes. Take care,
pete.