Hi all, got up at 7:30am, Goblin, my little grey furry alarm clock went off as he was hungry. [haven't needed an alarm in 2 and a half years]
Feeling bad again today, I feel sad and angry. My back and knees are really sore and I have to clean the house for my parents. But rather than wallow in self pity I decided to do something about it.
Timed walking Drizzle with when my best friend's kids go to school so Drizz and I took them to school. The girls always cheer me up. I get so much unconditional love from them, I love all 3 of them so much. They are 10, 9 and 5. Kids are great antidepressants.
Went up to the shops to get my pills [local chemist will only sell me 1 box a week now so I have to chemist shop when I need more] got some wine [ok as I am a moderate drinker] and completely forgot to get tabacco which is OK as I have enough to last me until Sunday. Bought some ibuprofen as well for the pain so I don't go overboard on the codeine.
I have decided that no matter how c**p I feel today I will not take more than 20 today, tomorrow I am cutting that back by 2 and so forth.
I've had brekkie, my usual vanilla diet shake, which I love. Never used to have brekkie which is one of the reasons I am so overweight now. Since I have been drinking brekkie, having soup or a sandwich for lunch and having my usual healthy dinner and exercising twice a day [4 months now] I have lost about 15 kilos. and they're never going back on!
Weight loss isn't rocket science, eat/drink breakfast, don't eat c**p, exercise everyday and BAM the weight will come off. It's not a diet it's a lifestyle change. I did have to give up my cheese addiction though. [weeps]
I've noticed my depression has improved a little since I've been exercising too.
Decided that when I've kicked the pills I'm gonna quit smoking. I can't take that magic little anti-smoking pill Clay mentioned as it will interfere with my antidepressants [according to my GP] but can use the patches and inhalers. GP and therapist don't want me to quit smoking until I have kicked the pills and have been clean for a while as they are worried that the smoking wds will send me over the edge.
I figure I've kicked a pot addiction by myself so I can kick the pills and then kick smoking.
On drinking, I have been really mindful of how much I drink since joining SR. I am a moderate drinker probably @ 4 drinks [white wine with tonic water] on the nights I do drink which isn't every night. I make sure I have 2 alcohol free days a week, so does my Dad. Since the last rape it has been really tempting to buy a bottle of vodka and wipe myself out but I know that will not solve my problem so I haven't. Because of my addictive nature I'm being really careful not to start relying on alcohol to cope. If I ever start sliding and think I am developing a problem I will be honest and post.
Anyway, true to nature I'm gonna procrastinate for a while before starting the housework. I hate doing it but I am good at it. I'm not tidy but I do like things to be clean. Plus doing the housework is part of the deal I have with my Olds for living here so I have no choice but to do it no matter how much pain I'm in.
Procrastination - Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?
Love to you all.