You go get that Goddess level! If you keep wanting it, you will have it eventually. I am new to this site, but not addiction. My father was an alcoholic and now I'm dealing with my daughter's meth addiction.
Isn't this site great? Like you said, a "we" to hold on to and not feel so alone. There are meetings, of course, and we need face-to-face, too. But when a meeting's not available (like for me at 3:00 am today) it is so wonderful to have people who truly understand your situation to go to.
Please remind yourself that you cannot control his addiction or help him with his recovery. He HAS to do it HIMSELF, or it will never take. Don't feel bad about being fooled in the past. I just went through that with my daughter (for the third time). They know exactly what to say and do to keep you from "getting their number". And I, myself, could very well be crowned "Queen of Enablers".
I think we ignore it because we know from past experience the ride we are in for if they are in fact using again.
Let's just change busses and go on a different ride for a change.
Keep it up...you're doing great!