Originally Posted by
Faerie 
Thanks Guys, just got back from the female doctor, she was very sympathetic and pretty much reinforced what you guys have said about seeking help from a rape crisis centre [which I will do tomorrow when I have privacy] and said that if he does himself in he kinda deserves it. [She tells it like it is, I like her]
Yes Clay, he does have depression but won't admit to it, he is also addicted to pot which as we all know does not help depression by any stretch of the imagination. He has never tried to kill himself before though.
I feel so much anger towards him which I hope I can let go of soon, maybe I'll never be able to forgive but I want the anger to go. He really set me off with that phone call today trying to justify what he did then accusing me of cheating.
My Mum, bless her, said he was damaged, manipulative, immature and selfish plus possibly dangerous now that he feels he has nothing to lose. I will keep away from him and we are gonna screen all our calls in case he tries to phone me again.
Whilst I'm feeling angry, sad and a little lost I'm glad it is over. I'm glad he pushed me to the point that I no-longer love him, it's easier this way. I'm gonna miss the good things of and it's gonna be hard for the next few months but I know I have ultimately done the right thing so I can feel good about that. Any guy or girl reading this who is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship please learn from my story, walking away is hard but you have to put your own well being first.
At least I'm not alone through this I have my family and all you lovely caring people,
Love to you all, one day my wings will be whole again,
Someday you will forgive him, because you will have in order to save yourself from your anger. But it's too soon and the wounds haven't healed. Just go to the Rape crisis center and get help on how to better heal your emotional wounds. That's why going to a female counselor is so much better for a woman who's been raped because they're not going to give you any of that ridiculous half-a$$ed $hit about maybe if you can forgive him and get over it. Guy has ruined his chances forever. I don't think he necessarily deserves to die or kill himself (I don't believe in the death penalty for crimes) but his life is in his hands and if he decides to try to absolve his guilt by taking the coward's way out, so be it. The blood's not on your hands. And you have people and will have people around to help you deal with that trauma if it occurs.
I'm just so proud of you for staying strong and doing the right thing. I hope you're not still using, but if you are, be careful, we don't want to lose you.