Thanks Guys, just got back from the female doctor, she was very sympathetic and pretty much reinforced what you guys have said about seeking help from a rape crisis centre [which I will do tomorrow when I have privacy] and said that if he does himself in he kinda deserves it. [She tells it like it is, I like her]
Yes Clay, he does have depression but won't admit to it, he is also addicted to pot which as we all know does not help depression by any stretch of the imagination. He has never tried to kill himself before though.
I feel so much anger towards him which I hope I can let go of soon, maybe I'll never be able to forgive but I want the anger to go. He really set me off with that phone call today trying to justify what he did then accusing me of cheating.
My Mum, bless her, said he was damaged, manipulative, immature and selfish plus possibly dangerous now that he feels he has nothing to lose. I will keep away from him and we are gonna screen all our calls in case he tries to phone me again.
Whilst I'm feeling angry, sad and a little lost I'm glad it is over. I'm glad he pushed me to the point that I no-longer love him, it's easier this way. I'm gonna miss the good things of and it's gonna be hard for the next few months but I know I have ultimately done the right thing so I can feel good about that. Any guy or girl reading this who is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship please learn from my story, walking away is hard but you have to put your own well being first.
At least I'm not alone through this I have my family and all you lovely caring people,
Love to you all, one day my wings will be whole again,