(((Red))) Just when you think the worst is behind you sometimes crap still happens and it throws us for a loop. You're right that you have to stop enabling him -- absolutely. Do not contact him!!! But if you are in fear for your safety then there are precautions you need to take just in case things escalate. Have you checked out this sticky about woman abuse? Please look at it carefully and toward the end is a detailed plan for a quick escape if you need it...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post1235705
I don't mean to make you feel worse, but sometimes taking positive action in this way will make you feel empowered.
Speak with a women's shelter counselor if you haven't already - ok?
Take care and please stay in touch.