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Old 07-27-2009, 07:53 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Faerie
Faerie
 
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: South Australia
Posts: 396
Just got back from therapy, it was great.

My therapist confirmed that what J did was rape and that it was not a sign of a healthy and loving relationship that he couldn't even last 6 weeks without sex. J wouldn't even kiss and cuddle me [which I needed] because it would 'make him horny'. My therapist also said that the threats of suicide are also blackmail [as we know] and not a sign of a healthy relationship. Basically that J is demonstrating behavior that is not conducsive to a healthy ongoing relationship.

I asked him how I can best break up with him to minimalise the chance of him trying to hurt himself. He told me to be calm and firm and perhaps tell him I need a 3 month 'break' with no contact. [after which I can break up with him for good]. He also told me I can help J to get his act together by telling him the only chance he has of getting back with me is to get off of the pot, get a job and go to therapy. My therapist said that this is positive manipulation. Weird concept hey, but if it helps J I'll do it. I really want him to get therapy as I don't want him to be a danger to other women.

I'm gonna call him in a minute and see if he'll come over for a talk so I can break up with him. He has a lot of my stuff which I will have to get my Dad to pick up tonight.

Wish me luck and strength,

Much love,
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