I am really concerned for you but I'm very glad you're going to see your therapist tomorrow.I'm a bit worried you're going to get a lot of armchair psychology replies here and it's simply not what's needed in a situation this serious.I don't think anyone at SR is equipped to professionally deal with the emotional/psychological minefield this has become and I am so very glad you're getting proper help. All we can really do is love and support you as you walk through it-and we do.
I'm thinking of you,
Jules xox