Originally Posted by
mentallyexh 
I am reading the book presently.
However, his life DOES affect mine - his actions do affect my world - whether I am focused on myself or not.....I get the idea of recovery for I myself....but his behaviors ABSOLUTELY affect everyone in my house whether am focused on myself or detaching.
Of course it does. But let me ask you a question. How does focusing on him help? Can you change what he does? Can you control him? Can you make him 'get with the program?' No. You can't. He is going to do whatever he is going to do--his choice. Not yours. So, you can continue to focus on him and his behavior, making yourself anxious, sick and crazy, or you can focus on yourself.
You can choose whether you want to be in his presence when he is drinking, or not. You can choose to be angry about his choices, or not. You can choose to believe that this problem will just magically go away because he says some nice words once in a while, or you can choose to look realistically at what his actions are telling you. You can fight, and kick and scream against reality, or you can accept it and choose what you want to do about it.
Entirely up to you. I'll say it again--he is not making you miserable. You are making yourself miserable.
L