It has been a long time in coming yes I know, There is so much to say yet dont know where to begin, as of this moment I am ok, not as strong as I should be ( mentally......death is on the mind a lot lately and the depression is trying to set in permently.........I promise I am not letting it) but holding on.......
Called Amy tonight said "Sis I have a fifth of vodka".................I couldnt even open the bottle I smashed it in the plastic bag it was in didnt say a word to My Edward and puked like there was no tomarrow...........I am not giving up my sobrity because things are down...................they maybe but Dam! It dont EVER count me out till the sand is ice cold from the snows that plague this place so darn much............
My Daughters, some may know some may not.......I Lost the girls at 8 months and almost 3 weeks ( 2 days shy) reasons I cannot get into for fear that my loved ones will know the truth and it will hurt them so much more than they ever need to be hurt..........Found a song from my mother favorite singer and she says it all.........
Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again
Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet
Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget
Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIeBqsujCqg
Well I will fill in a bit more as my strength returns........I have missed you all and have really missed my support and tough love.......Thanks for being there for me and My Edward......We have all greatlt appreciated the love a nd support we have recieved from al of you ( and YES Especially you both Unk Rusty and Amy the calls and just hearing the support from you both for me and Edward while hospitalized will make us both ever so honored to call you Both FRIENDS AND FAMILY!)
God Bless and Much Love,
Pamm and Edward
PS those of you who congradulated me on my 2 years, I havent missed you just cant sit for very long yet and thank you all!!!!!