On one hand, people like to drink in the name of celebrating or because there seems to be a pervasive belief in a cause effect relationship between getting loaded and having fun.
But, then, I think a lot of folks drink because it works well as a coping mechanism. I’m bored, I’ll drink; I’m sad, I’ll drink; I’m angry, I’ll drink; I’m anxious, I’ll drink… Am I right?
And a lot of us come into recovery with this pretense that as soon as we quit drinking, life is going to get better.
In some ways it does. In some ways our hopes and dreams seemed to slip to the back burner while we spent time getting hammered with our friends or getting hammered alone. Maybe we didn’t take a class or work on a relationship because getting drunk was a priority. Maybe we grew distant from friends and family, or wouldn’t aspire to a new career or an activity which we feel passionately about. Once sobriety kicks in, we find our rewards in the world in more appropriate places than the bottom of a bottle. We begin to focus more on hopes and dreams and less on the next drunk.
But there’s a catch.
Your crutch is gone. Now if you’re sad, or you’re angry, or you’re friend dies, or you go bankrupt, or your wife runs away with your best friend, you actually have to cope. And that sucks. Sort of.
It helps for me to think of all of these negative emotions as a map. I am here, and I want to get over there. These emotions are your handy natural wiring which triggers an alarm when something is amiss in your life.
So, if you’re angry because someone is lying to the unemployment office, then I believe that you can schedule this matter to be heard before an official at the unemployment office (I could be wrong, but you get the idea.) Believe me, there are labor boards and many, many ways which you can file complaints against someone who is behaving unethically. Schedule one day to sit down and figure out how, I’ll bet your prior employer will start falling all over themselves trying to make amends.
Or maybe you could just focus all of your attention on finding work with someone who behaves ethically and is looking for someone like yourself who values honesty in the workplace. By working toward the result you want, you’ll potentially not have to worry so much about mopping up the nonsense of your current situation.
The great part about being sober is that you will ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING about your negative emotion instead of just blowing it off and getting drunk.
Sorry to hear that your getting screwed. (Wouldn’t that make a great hallmark card?)
Good luck.