Thanks guys, I am seeing my doctor in about an hour and a half, I'm gonna tell him what happened and talk to him about the codeine. I don't think I'll use again today. If I feel the urge I'll go into the chat room. You are all right, no means no. If it had just been the first time I could have let it slide as a misunderstanding [but still had a major go at him for not respecting me] but the fact he did it again after I said no does make it rape.
I love him very much but he didn't show me much love with what he did.
Rider, I'm sorry to hear you have had a similar experience, we both know how horrible it is to be betrayed that way by somebody you trust.
I just don't know if I am strong enough to let him go.