I thought he was deciding to do it for him. To save himself from everything that was happening. He asked for help finally. And then he suddenly decided that he no longer felt he was ready. I don't understand how you can just accept all the bad, even after you've seen it.
"Oh, and I don't think he wants/is willing to "lose you" because of it. I am sure he wants you more. It's just that the addiciton is too powerful for him to control and it will win over everytime. In the end it doesn't matter why, either way we lose out (so do they). It kills me a little more each time I go thru it. "
From what he said in his last message, it seems like that is what he's saying. He says he was sober for a bit and doesn't think he feels ready (a bit equals like a day or two, btw). He knows how much that bothers me, and it just isn't going to work.
It's heartbreaking to see that he would rather lose me than lose something that he knows is destroying him.