sandrawg

Hi-I think your screenname says it all. I can relate to feeling mentall exhausted.

Let me ask you this:

1) do you LIKE being with someone who breaks their promises on a regular basis?

2) do you have even the slightest bit of trust for your AH?

3) do you feel like you are losing your self-respect because you're letting someone manipulate you and transgress boundaries that you have identified as important?

I ask these questions because I was in the same position as you with xabf

In the beginning with my ex, it was about cocaine, but that's only because I was choosing to deny the extent of his problems with alcohol (even tho I kept him out of jail once, and he smashed my phone and his computer..all when drunk). He promised not to do coke. Broke thaat promise twice (when drunk, of course). The last time he did coke, he knew he had pushed me too far, so he "admitted" he had a drinking problem.

I made him promise to stay sober for a month to prove to me he was serious about changing. He couldn't do it.

I don't care--one beer, two beers, then binge drinking...it's still alcoholism if someone can't stay sober, or can't avoid having alcohol affect their lives negatively.

I realized I was losing my self-respect by allowing him to get away with breaking his promises. I no longer wanted the stress and pain the drinking caused into my life. My trust in him had eroded to ZIP. I had no choice but to hold tight to my boundaries and walk.

What you do now is up to you. But I would caution that he knows now that your boundaries and your rules mean nada, because he has broken them so many times and gotten away with it. You might as well stop making him make promises-in my case, it kind of became a farce after a while.