Bottom line is, he's going to do whatever he's going to do. Doesn't matter what you say, what you do, what your expectations are, what your boundaries are. He's a big boy who makes his own choices. The only thing you control is your own choices. It really helped me to start thinking in terms of myself, my life, and my children. Take the focus off him and decide what you will accept and not accept. Stop trying to control him and start taking control of your own life. You won't regret it.
L