Fear of being alone is a big thing for many people, including me. When I told my AGF she needed to leave, I was afraid of being alone. But, like many others here, I was not physically alone (she was physically present) but I was alone emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and in practically (no help in getting anything done).
In reality, I was not afraid of losing the relationship, but afraid of losing my hopes and dreams for the future and what I imagined life would be.
I have come to understand, that by asking her to leave, I not only stopped enabling her, but also gave me back my life. Today, I don't live in constant reaction to what she is doing and I am beginning to live for myself. I am shaping a new imagined future for myself and my children. One that is free of addiction and codependence.
I don't know what will happen when she gets out of treatment. I have to leave it in God's hands (even thought that is REALLY hard).
Be strong, take care of yourself, and look to build a new dream.