Originally Posted by
least 
Have you ever considered inpatient rehab? Like for three months? It might help you to be in a 'clean' place for a while so you can get and stay sober for a while and begin to understand what it means to live sober. Counseling might also be helpful, since you seem to have a self-destructive streak in you.
I think this is a perfect suggestion for you, Tib. There are rehabs that don't bang the AA book, if you're worried about that. It sounds like you have absolutely nothing to lose. Go away for 90 days and concentrate on yourself. You can still do this, man. You can still turn this around. Good Luck, my friend.