Originally Posted by
gneiss 
When I say I thought my life would get better I never thought that meant without problems. It's life, after all. I thought I would feel better overall, not feel like a loser all the time, have a clear head in order to take on those problems. Several times I've made it to 2 months. Even then I still feel like a loser, like no one really wants to be friends with me unless they are high or drunk. And I don't feel qualified to make decisions about life's little problems, stuff I'd never waffle about when high will keep me baffled for ages. I don't feel like my head is clearer, I feel like it's more muddled, more full of all the static from other people.
Cant say I don't know whats that about...hell I'm mentally ill. Not to say you are, but a muddled mind is a constant challenge for me. Yet I will persist to strive beyond that. Not because its necessary...Just because I will not accept it as my destiny. I have the dogged determination of a street fighter...well being on the streets in my past and fighting may have something to do with it...not really. Who knows its a survival thing that gets kicked in at the last breath of life...maybe not. Why I have it and others don't...will befuddle me I guess. I however suspect its something one can learn through the experiences of others...otherwise why care.