I have posted here so many times, literally not feeling hopeful at all, just trying to find the strength to do what I knew I had to do for my children and myself. Then yesterday afternoon I recieved a phone call which I was unprepared for....but left me hopeful...and also reminded me that God is in control and with him ALL things are possible.
My husbands boss at work can be extremely demeaning, taking all of his anger and stress out on anyone that might be around - of course my husband takes the brunt of this often. Apparently yesterday when he was at work his boss was quite irritable and started ranting about something ridiculous and just went down hill from there. My husband was FURIOUS with his boss and couldn't believe the way he was being treated to what his boss was saying.....and in that same moment HE came to a realization - like someone very clearly said to him - This is what you are doing to your wife! He said this realization hit him pretty hard, and that was when he called me.
He said I have to tell you something, I know what is wrong. Then he started talking and validated everything I believe and knew in my heart was wrong with our marriage and HE OWNED IT. Not blamed me, but broke down and owned it. Everything I had felt about what was going on, he told me it like someone had just told him....about his anger over me wanting him to stop drinking because that was his joy, him placing everything that bothered him on me etc.....without going to deep in to it - he too stress it all, he even said that HE needed counseling for himself because he did not know how to cope correctly, and used alcohol and anger for this....me being the target. WOW....I didn't explain it here a clearly and eloquently as he was able to say it on the phone, but if I would have been able to expresse exactly what I saw happening I couldn't have done it any better.
Now....I am not holding my breath on this....but this was an amazing realization for him....and I do believe that now he is prepared to make some big changes with counseling.....
So that has left me with this:
God answers prayers, at times and in ways that we can't dictate......and he does it in ways we can't necessarily imagine.....but he is ALWAYS listening and there....and at the end of the day I have hope....and that is MORE than I had before.
