:ghug3 You don't deserve that kind of treatment. He does this because he wants to and he can. He is telling you who and what he is.
I was like you too...2 beautiful kids, nice home, etc. I was locked in a cage or so I thought. It was all him and I would complain and then it effected my emotional health big time. One day, I awoke from this and had enough and saw that the the cage wasn't locked. I had the key and had had it all along. I stayed for 18 years and helping myself and my kids was the most terrifying thing I ever had to do.
Now, after lots of therapy I know why I stayed and I have stopped attacking myself over that. But the good news is I got out of the situation on my own. I took my power back and I started to learn how to behave as an emotionally healthy adult for the first time in my life!
Recovery is a process.