Chiynita,
I don't know you very well yet, but I have to say that your post scares me ... simply because I can relate. I think it's amazing and admirable that you did NOT use. Good job! Also, great work on the trigger homework sheet! It's crucial that we keep touching base with ourselves and make "plans of actions" for dealing with triggers.
One of my best plans of actions is NO ACTION. I'm nervous by nature and often NOT self-aware. Once I've been triggered, I sometimes UNCONSCIOUSLY start drug-seeking behavior, even though I tell myself, "I'm just going for a walk and maybe I'll take my cell phone with me, just in case" ... and I end up calling one of my dealers and meeting them somewhere, spur of the moment.
So, I JUST DO NOT MOVE. This can FEEL awful. However, feelings are not facts and feelings WILL pass. For me, this is what I, personally, need to do because I know myself and I know how deep my addiction lies.
However, for you, the solution could be entirely different. I commend you for making a great choice and taking positive action!
What I also do to keep me sober and clean, is NOT give my cell number to anyone ... and I changed my number right away when I got clean.
Correction: I gave my phone to a trusted person and have THEM change the number because I didn't trust myself to really do it!!!
Is there anyway that you could get your number changed so that dealers can't call you?
Girl, I gotta say that if a dealer called me while I was feeling bored, I would not be sober and clean anymore. I think it's wonderful that you made it through the dark side this time, but the more you can maybe do away with temptation, the more you increase your likelihood of success.
Since I hate preaching, I'm just going to say that I'm just trying to help ... I'm not trying to be on a soapbox here.
The odds are really against us ... that's why I'm offering this advice. The odds say that we will get high again. We need to FIGHT those odds with every tool that we've got!
Personally, I refuse to be a statistic ... and I hope that you do, too.
Sugar xo