That all sounds terribly exhausting for you M.
Sounds to me like he's grabbing at anything to get you to acquiesce. I'LL Change.... I WILL... (Is that what she wants to hear~he asks himself) You B*^%, how could you do this to ME. Quack, Quack, Quack. But I digress.
I'll tell you a secret....I've never met anyone, myself included that had a substance abuse problem and had ALL their ducks lined up. It's hard work to get the real problem fixed. It normally means therapy. Substance abusers didn't become addicts because they liked to party. They became addicts because they want to numb out the REAL problems. Alcohol and drugs is a symptom of the underlying issues.