From my POV, this is just about manipulation. What he wants is to go back to the way things were before... when he could do whatever he wanted and you would go along with it.
You are a person he does not recognize. You are setting boundaries and defending them. Good for you. His talk, as mean and hurtful as it is, is just quacking. As long as he can make this "about you" he can avoid any responsibility for his own actions and decisions.