Originally Posted by
mentallyexh 
I wish I could just forget the past and move on with our relationship. How do you forget the hurts that cut like a knife? How do you forget the name calling, the mean and hateful arguements, the lack of support, the lack of happiness....how do you forget?? "
Forgiveness is not about forgetting. Forgetting is often not a very wise thing to do, especially with an active alcoholic. As Dr. Phil says, "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior." To me forgiveness is something I do for myself and my inner well-being. It allows me to release the issue/person so I can go on and live a productive and happy life no matter what that person chooses to do. I've learned to keep a safe distance form my XAH as he is not working a recovery program and the behavior is the same or even worse. I work each day on forgiving him......but even harder is forgiving myself for...
involving my teen daughters in this mess for so long. I am working hard at living amends to them as well as seeing to it they are exposed to emotionally mature and healthy men that value their families and treat women with respect to provide a counter example from the one their father has set.