Amy,
There is a perfect job waiting for you. It's just not ready yet.
I know how depressing it can be looking for a job. Then when you don't get one you applied for it makes you feel rejected and it's harder to go out and apply again. We've all been through that.
I know you feel abandoned and alone right now. I know you're afraid and feel hopeless, but this too shall pass and there are good things in life waiting for you. Every time I look at my grand children I think that I almost missed all that joy because I almost gave up when I was in despair just like you are now.
I would give you great big hugs if I could, but I can only send them to you from here.
After you recover from this disappointment you can go out and put in more applications. Do it all in one day. I even mailed applications and got responses. Go in or mail them to every place you want to work.
I promise you that this will get better and you WILL find a job.
I really wish you would go to counseling and work through some of the abandonment issues you are facing. It can't be easy. It's painful and support would be good for you.
Much love,
MG