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I know how scary this is. But he is testing you. He is seeing if you will waffle on his drinking. Please don't!
My XABF also did all of these things. Actually it's scary how similar it is. He blamed me for involving his family and mine. He blamed me for turning his family against him (when all they wanted to do was help him) He blamed me for "controlling" him. He told me that I didn't really love "all" of him because I didn't accept his drinking. He told me I kept giving him reasons to not marry me because I couldn't accept his drinking. Most of these were desperation moves. He had already been through "quitting" twice and starting back up reguardless of my feelings. When I finally put my foot down, this was all he had left to do. He was trying to break me down and blame ME!
If he doesn't stop drinking, it's time to focus on yourself. It doesn't sound like he wants to quit. You can't make him quit for you. Even if it means you have to separate for awhile, you can't ever let him think that you are ok with the way he is treating you.
I was terrified that mine wanted me to leave as well. And I can tell you that when I did leave, I was devastated. He was acting like he didn't care. He was out getting drunk and doing what he wanted. But every now and then he would reveal to me how much he was hurting. Don't let him fool you into thinking he wants you to leave. It's just at the moment, the alcohol is more important. Sad to say, but yes, to him it is. Quite a few members on this board told me that very bluntly. It took that for me to see the light.
There is hope though. I have been through hell for almost 3 weeks now. But I'm finally getting better and seeing that I have to live my life for my son and I. I'm living for myself right now! I'm not worried about him! It feels great. Just try and keep that in sight.
Keep posting, keep loving yourself, and things ALWAYS get better if you MAKE them!