The Blame Game
Ok...it has been nearly 3 weeks since I joined here, knowing I was near the end of my rope when I started. My AH stopped drinking for about 10 days, I think knowing that I couldn't take much more. However, I gave in to his ways of making me feel guilty and somehow convinced myself that drinking a few beers was ok. This hasn't caused any problems yet, but I am not holding my breath. Here is the real issue. We spend today at his parents, and had a nice day. Actually things are so much more "normal" now that his drinking isn't an issue - no arguing, yelling, name calling etc. Anyway...his parents know what happened. They are very supportive of me. On our way home, they called him and said something about wanting to pray over us...they are very religous. This made him very angry. He blamed me because they knew...blamed me because my family knew...blamed me for goodness only knows what else. He explained how I don't support him, how I am threatening him by saying if it goes back to the way it was I won't do it again. I stood up for myself by saying that if he hadn't been drinking then none of this would have been an issue - however he is just ANGRY and blaming me. One minute he can be loving and understanding and the next he is ANGRY. He believe I am controling him. There are times he tells me to "get out" if I am going to threaten him, he says I never meant what I said when we were married if I say I would leave, I feel like he is on the verge of trying to make excuses of why he should be able to drink whever he wants without consequence. I almost feel like he wants me to leave, because he says it so much, so he can go back to drinking. I really have been focusing on me and am feeling SO much better....but his behaviors confuse me, and make me question what he is doing? Isn't part of admitting you have a problem, accepting that you own it? As always thanks for your support, and any thoughts are always appreciated.