Hello! Checking in. I've noticed lately that whatever is bothering me is fine during the day, sometimes I can even chuckle at it. But as it gets on toward bedtime I tend to fall apart: call a friend crying, or just sit in my room. Something little will set me off but eventually I get around to what's really bothering me. Also I noticed when I do mess up and get some dope it takes me a month to react normally to situations again. One night quickly ruins several weeks of work. Not that I end up going on some crazy binge, just I get a sort of lightweight version of the withdrawal sort of symptoms I had the first time I stopped and they last for a month or so.
I think I can use this knowledge as another way to avoid doing dope. It just took me about 3 times through this process to recognize the pattern: 1 night of partying, 3 or 4 weeks of wanting drugs and random emotionality, 3 or 4 weeks feeling normal again, another night of partying... so I see it now I can make sure at that point where I'm most likely to get drugs-- about 6 to 8 weeks-- I don't. Time to break the cycle.