josoares,
Welcome to SR! I'm really glad you found us.
I wish I had something to say that would make this easier on you.
But sometimes, alcoholics in recovery need vast amounts of space from relationships in order to do their healing work. Relationships are hard work, full of guesses at how to please others, right/wrong decisions, compromising, and both your own baggage AND someone else's. That could well be what's going on there.
It is also possible that he wants to break off the relationship but doesn't have the courage. If he won't even see you in person, that may be what's happening. But it's impossible to say which is true without coming right out and asking him, in as non-threatening a way as you can.
This is in your best interests to find out, so you can decide whether "selfish and emotionally unavailable" is going to be good enough for you for life. Either way, you will know which way you have to go....I don't know about you, but "Limbo" is not a state I like being in. If you are in pain and he's stringing you along and won't communicate, you don't have to wait for HIM to make a decision. You can also make one.
Wishing you luck with everything!