TakingCharge999

Hi waterface! Glad you reached out for help. SR is a great place...

Well, the same happened to me, only it was my now ex BF who started picking fights, calling names and all that hell you know so well.

I too enjoyed drinking socially and wondered why he could not be like ME, perhaps getting drunk but doing it safely, not driving, with friends around and certainly not abusing anybody around me regardless of my state.

I am one of those that think with alcohol there are no inhibitions and what you saw of her is who she truly is, just not covered up.

I too was dumbfounded as he could start making me cry out of the blue, then cry his heart out apologizing just to repeat the same next weekend.

It was horrible to see how I was getting hurt as a direct result of his words and actions yet he would be drinking next time as if nothing ever happened.

I left. The day I left, heartbroken, he was already getting ready to get more drinks. Two weeks later he had a new enabler, a girl that drinks more than he does and would not mind bringing her to the office, parading her, talking about her with others when I am next to them and can hear everything. Wow. And I thought I "knew" him! This new person has nothing to do with the boyfriend I had. Or he was busy covering up his problem to suck me in, provide sex, buy his Jack Daniels bottle and drive him home. I tend to believe the lattest.

Alcoholics use people. And if they do not get whatever they want from you, sex, drama, someone to abuse, punch, etc. they won't blink an eye and get someone who plays that role.

Last time we talked he said he was the same drunkard and that he was planning to drink until the very last day of his life. Not an ounce of remorse or hurt. It seems I had became an obstacle.

I learned the hard way he is an alcoholic or is on his early career to becoming one.

It is not that I was second to the drink. For him it is only the drink. Whoever agrees, supports, pulls him to drink, will be on his life. The others will leave or be kicked out as "boring" "bitter" you name it...

I hope you seek support if you need / individual counseling, books & Al Anon.

I am sorry you are going through this!! But imagine if you had married her, or had kids or ran into financial problems... truly its better to know them first, when you still have a chance to make better partner decisions.

All the best!