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Old 06-22-2009, 12:02 AM
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breakingfree88
learning to live for me
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: East Coast, US
Posts: 215
Wow I love birds so I love this metaphor! Thanks for starting this thread!


Nowadays I feel most like a bluejay but late at night I'm a wounded baby blue jay I suppose. I guess I would say to people that hard times are going to come up...just because you leave your addict and feel super confident about it that day doesn't mean you're going to have a smooth ride. I have doubted myself sometimes but whenever I "play the tape all the way through" in my head and actually entertain the thought of "what if I were to call him right now and tell him I want to get back together" it cures me pretty quick if I'm true and realistic about it. But I feel that if we expect these bumps in the road to come up and accept them for what they are, we're more prepared...it won't catch us off guard and make us think that we made a mistake in leaving.
Because I know I didn't make a mistake- deep in my heart.
I treat my addict ex like a drug. I know that everytime I text, everytime I read or reply to his emails, I'm acting on my own free choice but I'm playing with fire and taking another "hit" is only prolonging my pain.
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