I'm having a hard time right now with the "sober date" and "clean time" thing. On the one hand, I drank last night... so today is my first day sober, Day 1, pretty straightforward. On the other hand, those almost-9 months don't just DISAPPEAR now. I didn't somehow find a way to go back in time and make all those days un-sober days.
Yes, I took a step back. Yes, I just pretty much ruined the trust I had managed to build back up with my husband. But did I just negate 9 months of sobriety?
This has been building up for some time now and I know that. The fact that I drank alcohol is just the icing on the cake... I haven't been WELL in a while (and I could have told you that).
It doesn't seem fair to think I have to start completely over. It makes it feel harder than it already is. I think it's more fair to say out of the past 9 months, I've only had a drink on one day.